4/2/2023 0 Comments Warped reality challenges![]() ![]() ![]() Time passes, memories blur, and your wimpy runt of an identity completely forgets the lengths your ego went to to protect it. ‘I cannot have done that,’ says my pride, and remains inexorable. Self-Justification Step 4: Warped memories become your reality. There was almost no way you could have got out without scratching it.”Īnd every time your identity takes the bait, your ego embellishes the story a bit more.Īt last, your effete identity’s dissonance dissolves. It has stories to explain away all of them.Īs you drive out of the parking lot, your ego “reminds” your identity, “The car on your other side was way over the line and pinned you in! And you were already parked super close to the pole. What about the other dents and scratches on your car from earlier incidents? Your ego googles known manufacturing defects of your car and finds a Reddit thread full of fellow above-average drivers who complain about the faulty sensors that are supposed to warn you of objects like poles. Seeking “evidence” to back up its weak excuses.These are your ego’s three go-to confirmation bias tactics: To do so, it uses confirmation bias, “the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values.” Since your identity continues to tremble from the unfortunate sequence of events, your ego goes the extra mile to comfort the poor thing. Self-Justification Step 3: Confirmation bias brings extra comfort. ![]() But it remains shaken from the experience. Your precious little identity takes great comfort in the bosom of this BS. We should get you some pills to address that.” “Didn’t you notice that your arm involuntarily spasmed, causing the steering wheel to jerk to the left and direct the car toward the pole.“You were tired from a long day of being amazing.”.“They should have painted that pole bright yellow so it doesn’t blend in with the walls around it.”.“Don’t worry, my precious little identity. Then it deftly whips out its favorite band-aids to salve the discomfort: It sees the two inconsistent cognitions causing discomfort to your precious identity. In a flash, your ego, like an overprotective mom, jumps in to soothe your identity and assess the damage. Self-Justification Step 2: Ego comes to the rescue with lies and excuses. It needs the reassurance of a clear and simple reality, not this complex dilemma. The uncertainty of its situation makes your delicate identity tremble. “I just grated my car against a pole that even a legally blind grandma could have avoided.” In the case of your self-inflicted sideswipe, your two inconsistent cognitions are: Cognition A Tavris and Aronson define cognitive dissonance as “a state of tension that occurs whenever a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent.” Upon scratching your car, you feel an immediate sense of disbelief and uncertainty. Self-Justification Step 1: Cognitive dissonance threatens your feeble identity. Cognitive dissonance happens when reality clashes with deluded identity. “ that’s self-justification’s cue to get rolling. You sideswipe a pole, leaving a nasty gash on the passenger side of your car. Since you, like most people, think you’re an above-average driver, you think to yourself, “I could have been a stunt driver in another life.” You sit down, put on your podcast, start your engine, pull out of your parking spot, and… You just finished watching the latest Fast and the Furious sequel at the theatre and get into your car to drive home. The Step-by-Step Self-Justification Process The magic word that triggers self-justification. Then, maybe- hopefully-you can catch your ego in the act and stop it before it makes your identity even softer and more deluded than it already is. This post’s step-by-step explanation and multiple examples will help you do so. That starts with understanding exactly how you self-justify. So the first step to fighting self-justification? The less you believe you’re affected by self-justification, the worse you suffer from it. What makes self-justification especially insidious is this: And turns us into close-minded losers with inflated egos.As Carol Tavris and Elliott Aronson reveal in one of my favorite mind-changing books, Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me, self-justification: Self-justification is your ego shielding your identity from reality like an overprotective mother coddling her delicate child.Īnd it messes with your reality. ![]()
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